Pang of jealousy

Does the heart ever understand all the theories ever taught it? Does it remember to behave right when it ought to?
I have always prided myself as one with good self esteem and positive self image. I try not to let the successes of others to get to me. I teach myself that we all are different. Isn’t that the bane of being a teacher? Self-talk, self-prep, etc. Most people think teachers are “strict and mean-spirited” and so when a single lady says ‘I’m a teacher.’ What are the words that run through the other person? Strict, disciplinarian, bore, cautious living a calculated life.

Now where was I? I try as much as I can to be honest with my feelings in relation to other people. This makes me vulnerable and some people might think it is a stupid way to live but standing before the mask will definitely keep me in bondage. How I love the ability to give voice to my feelings.

Everyone is unique, with different paths and different experiences. No two  individual are exactly alike. We all have different weather in our life.
Then, some bad emotion creep in when I see some picture perfect life. It hits me suddenly and then I understand the reason why it is called pang. My heart aches immediately and questions begin.
“Why am I not like that?”
“Why do I have to grow up in the rural area?”
“Why is my blogging content not like that of so and so.”
“Why do I have to deal with deception from people I respect and hold in high esteem?”
Why…this, why…that.
Discontent settles in for a while. I am finally coming to terms with this green eyed monster. I have to keep banishing the thoughts of jealousy each time it rears its head.
* * *
Do you find yourself caught in this web some time? Share your thoughts with me.

In response to the daily prompt, Envy. I have written this about two weeks ago and this prompt is just perfect for it.
Until next time,
Blessings!

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